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I've been pretty bad about uploading my artwork consistently on my blog. If you want to follow me, @KathrynJNeale on Instagram I've been much better at uploading work there on a daily basis. It's funny too that as I post my artwork, they definitely come in spurts of series work. These (3) sketches naturally are going together because they have similar elements of white background, sketchy pencil, pastel markings and wasabi tape. Feeling more mixed media and painting, drawing, collage, etc.
Totally not following my initial intentions AT ALL. I've already gotten little bored and wanting to stretch myself a bit - these are interesting - ESP the last one. Felt very BOLD to just paint on the dark, dark blue-almost-black blob and then go from there. It's working I think but still kind of feels awkward. I'm always reminded when I now remember doing these paintings in only 20 minutes - that there is such an awkwardness and for sure 90-95% of the way through the painting (which means about 15 minute mark), I'm thinking - "This is crap!" And then I have to just push my analytical mind out to rush to make small changes here, then there, and then timer goes off and it's ok - it actually looks finished.
This process is SO different from making a real, much larger painting. You have time. You have all the time in the world that you want! And you can just "let it cook" so to speak. And of course I feel that a lot of the time the process of painting feels super awkward and I trust that. But these 20 minute paintings really accentuate that of course because I don't have time and I am not allowing myself to come back to the painting - which I can do for any of my other stuff.
And this is great to remind myself how this feels for a newbie. The reassurance that you are actually on the right path if you feel awkward is so important. It means you are stretching, you are growing and trying new things.
One part of me is a bit frustrated with myself that I'm just NOT working withing my "series" mentality which I thought I would be. But the other part of me just reminds myself to chill. I realistically haven't painted in a couple months. Getting back into it and then perhaps later I will make a "series" for myself. Who knows. We have a while here - 95 more days left!
We're off! - Day 1 & 2 for 2016 100 Day Project.
Well it's this time of year again. Last year (2015) I participated in the 100 Day Project encouraged by Elle Luna through The Great Discontent website. It was a blast! Pretty much everyone who participated last year wondered if we were all doing it again? The Great Discontent sadly couldn't organize it but Elle Luna broadcasting through her Instagram @ElleLuna that she's promoting it this year.
It starts tomorrow, April 19th through July 27th! I've already rounded up (3) other girlfriends to join me (yeah!) so I'm not alone. Too fun.
Follow me @KathrynJNeale on Instagram for daily (or pretty close to daily) updates. #The100DayProject and #100days20minptgs. Not quite sure if I'm posting to my blog everyday but certainly will keep up with the posts - perhaps weekly.
I'm excited to think more strategically about it this year. Instead of last year where I just did "whatever" came to me, I'm going to start to working through the first 25-30 days (depending on how I feel it's going) focusing on building more of a series of small works. I will know more tomorrow when I start but I've already laid out certain materials that I will focus on for the duration of those 25 days - floral wasabi tape, liquid acrylic paints, soft pastels in neutral colors, bright green and bright teal chalk paint, and darker neutral acrylic paint. Working with these colors, paint and materials, purchased a large roll of multi-media paper so that I can just tear sheets off in sizes that I like.
I'm setting these restrictions up for myself because I struggle against structure, period. I'm not that great at discipline at all, at routine is ok (some routine is ok), but the sheer predictability of doing something over and over again is very challenging. It's kind of like, though, getting up to know what you are wearing, or perhaps you have a uniform for work. These set of restrictions actually will let my brain rest from making any of those decisions - color in particular. I'm hoping that I will start to focus more on mark-making and composition. Those are my goals for the first 25-30 days and then I'll reassess what the next "series" will be.
So . . . until tomorrow it begins!
Geez whiz. Been completely MIA for the past 3 months and now finally feeling like I'm coming up for air. Some wonderful things have been happening and it's fun to sit and reflect over the whirlwind of the past several weeks to notice and say thanks to those wonderful things. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of work and feel the sometimes sheer exhaustion of being a mom while trying to do some things for herself.
But to start, would just like to share that I've finished my Yoga Teacher Training two weekends ago from the YogaSix Studio here in St. Louis. YEAH!!! Something I've aspired to and have in the back of my brain for several years now. Even if I don't teach, or teach someday further in the future, it was an amazing experience. And was perfect timing of course.
However, even through this experience, it wasn't like everything "fell into place" and all was completely harmonious and smooth sailing. Reflecting back on these months it was, at times, overwhelming. I felt pushed and pulled under like enormous waves were dictating my life. Just to get to the training sessions was always such a struggle. Once I was there of course I was happy to be there and learning what I want to learn about. But it was tough to let go of the motherly guilt of not being around during every weekend and for a full-time working mom, I already have enough guilt in that department not being able to spend every day I could with my little guy. Had to schedule time off work, leave early from work, remember to get food/snacks for every day, try to work around my schedule to make room for required hours outside of those sessions (homework and other classes to take from each studio from certain instructors). Almost didn't make a session because of a nasty snowstorm and with only 2 weekends offered as "breaks," each one either I was sick, my son or my husband was sick. The last week, gearing up for our final Practice Teaching session which is the accumulation of what you've learned over the last 10 weeks, preparing to offer up your very own yoga sequence for an entire 60 minutes, my son got severely sick. I ended up staying up with him through 3 nights before the final session started (Thurs night, Friday all day, Saturday and Sunday all day were the final sessions), instead of being able to practice my teaching sequence. It got rugged. Of course all ended very happily and in spite of it all, I did my very best! I wish I could've given my 100% like some of the other fellow participants.
BUT the rewards were simply awesome. An introduction to the world of yoga, the traditions, the mindsets, the attitudes, the perspective and spiritual foundation that was exactly what I have been yearning for for a long, long time. It fed my soul in ways that I was hoping it would.
Interestingly enough the entire experience was not a complete shock. I didn't have any major epiphany or earth-shattering, life-changing moment, like some of the others shared that they did. Instead, it's been a consistent affirmation of ideas or thoughts that I have learned or been exposed to all these years, a confirmation of my own belief systems and most importantly, a way to structure it that has been missing in my life. I learned new things of course specific to the context of the yogic tradition.
And I feel, like any new and fulfilling, the practice of yoga is not just on the mat but "off the mat." So in that vein, I am leaping into the spring season renewed with a sense of improving my lifestyle, my health choices, my way of living (not just psychically in my space like my studio and/or house, but also feeding my soul spiritually too)! So many times when a person might go through something like this, they might want to throw everything overboard and start new, fresh. I feel like that.
But . . . the most important thing that this entire experience has taught me, is that life is most often not like that. Few people have the privilege, daring or recklessness (depending on how one sees it) to throw everything out and start fresh, a new. And become a brand new person - the person they wish to be. Reflecting now, I see it more like baby steps. It's the baby steps that really do make all the difference in your life. And to accept where I AM RIGHT NOW. Acceptance is key. It is being honest with yourself, loving yourself and knowing even though you have some ways to go to improve in all areas of your life, you can change today. Everything is change, everything is in flux, it is how we approach each moment that is the key to happiness, fulfilled life perhaps.
Already I'm amazed I even did this and finished it since it literally felt like it dropped in my lap - which is not like me to just do something last minute. Especially now since coordinating and planning around the schedule of a 2 year old is not easy.
I am SO Grateful though that I did accomplish this feat for myself. If anything, it has shown me the path to go to create a self-care plan, to fuel a passion for yoga that I've always wanted to do but never fully committed.
And it has also given me such fantastic ideas for how to teach and blend this into my artwork! Perhaps someday I can make the transition into teaching yoga + art workshops. To bring some of the skillfulness of how a yoga teacher might guide through her class, into an art class/workshop. And to more fully integrate yoga/meditation into my own practice to share with others who might be interested. That's super cool too - something I've always wanted to do and now have the certification to do it! :)
Take a deep breath, be grateful for where you are . . . take a baby step.
This fall, I participated in my first minted challenges and actually won 7 editor's awards! I'm thrilled to finally open an official minted store to sell high quality art prints of my work. Thank you minted for this amazing opportunity.
Kathryn Neale Minted Store
Christmas Cards 2015 from Kathryn Neale on Vimeo.
Christmas has come and gone! Wow! What a rush!
I did manage to sneak some time in (not sure how) to make about 36 Christmas cards to send to my friends and family this year. Hence the video above I actually figured out a way to tape myself with my iPhone! And it all didn't turn out to be a disaster which can definitely happen quickly if you don't really plan. Found myself thinking about making these things, ordered the stamps and the wasabi tape and when they came it was that moment of . . . "am I really going to do this?" I'm so glad I did! It was so much fun. And it was a joy to have some kind of excuse to do a little painting - which I haven't done in a few months (I always go in and out of bursts of painting energy).
So I thought I would share my thoughts on the project and how you can make your own Christmas cards - OR any kind of small series of works. I realize that there is a sort of method to the madness - especially when you're working very fast, and very small and using similar media elements and layers, I realize there are some "rules" to apply to that make it look like a cohesive series but not all look exactly the same. Each Christmas card is unique. But they all have similar elements or layers that I used and by the end I got really good at varying the beginning of each set of layers but always stuck to the last 2-3 layers by choice. And there are reasons behind all of that.
So first, let me introduce my supplies and materials.
1. Choose things that inspire and in this case, are quick and easy for you to apply. For example, for some reason lately I really like Christmas stamps! I'm starting to collect several kinds over the years - 1 is the large design of snowflakes that are just quite beautiful but also very versatile. You can always incorporate snowflakes!
2. In this case, having fun but being QUICK is also a factor. I didn't want to "labor" over these things so I needed to make more of a collage then an actually all out painting. For heavens' sake just making about 34 was enough! :) So choosing this super cute set of Christmas stamps (very small because my cards are small) was also a plus. I didn't have to use all of them - actually I only ended up using about 6 different ones, but it still created a cohesive look using 2 or 3 for each card. One of them (the ornament) I ended up using in all of them as a main layer because I liked the look of them "hanging" from my tree. But more on that later down in the explanation of each layer.
3. Color. Color is very important. Try to use a color palette of 2 or 4 colors. More than that really does make it over the top for the viewer. I limited my color palette with my stamp ink - light blue, red and gold.
4. And wasabi tape also introduces "POP" of color and maybe even more important, PATTERN to infuse a little Christmas atmosphere and also a graphic element. Wasabi tape is used mostly as an "accent" to the piece.
5. An off-white 4x6 card from Paper Source provided the perfect back-drop. I wanted off-white because I subtly wanted the "white" from the gesso and paint to show and not completely blend into the background.
6. Finally, gesso paint that's bright white, and fluid iridescent white pearl paint (in liquid acrylic and solid acrylic) so that I could add a little texture of abstract "snowy" elements. This is a perfect opportunity to use an iridescent paint that almost "glitters" in a way because it even more reflects the light like so many decorations this time of year.
I must add that these choices were completely intuitive. As I write them I am analyzing them with my "left brain" and each one makes sense why I would use these materials. The gold ink palelette was brand new choice for me, I usually don't like gold or am attractive to that color but it worked quite well with the other bright elements of the card.
TIP: Use again what inspires you. It could be Christmas tags, stickers, old wrapping paper elements that you can cut up and use. Parts of magazines or old books that have been torn away. Anything that is graphic--inspired, patterned or particular nostalgic is perfect for Christmas card themes. But again, try to keep it to 1-2 graphic element, 1-3 painterly media, perhaps 2-3 stamps or 2-3 drawing media. The variety comes in putting it all together because each card will end up being different and unique.
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THE PROCESS:
Tip #1 - Try to use about 8-10 layers at most with such a little space as this. They need to be a variety of materials/media and color. Use what INSPIRES you to HAVE FUN!d o
BREAKDOWN OF MY LAYERS:
4. Red stamps of either candy-cane, santa face, wreath, basic image of christmas 5. Gold ornament stamp
6. Red berry stamp
7. White gesso 8. Iridescent white liquid acrylic 9. Iridescent white solid acrylic
** Of course while I was taking these pictures I suddenly blanked and forgot the red berry (GASP!) that I usually put in about the middle before some of the stamps and definitely before the white paint at the end. that's OK though! See example below though where the "red berry" stamp is DEFINITELY ON TOP of the white paint layers but that's totally ok. It's just a slightly different effect then the one below it where it's "behind."
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MY PROCESS:
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Tip #2 - HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN! Don't get too worked up about when you put this or where or if you (heaven forbid!) missed a step etc. You might want to practice 1-4 cards at the beginning to experiment freely and get your rhythm what you are going to do. At the end, "stamping" a tube of the iridescent white solid acrylic paint worked so well for about 25 of the cards and then that last 9 or so, the paint start to wear out and the "bubble" that inevitably had made this cool "circle stamp" that was totally organic and free suddenly started plopping out GOBS of paint. You just worked with it. I dabbled some of it back up with a paper towel and other times just using a brush to "paint" back in some marks that didn't have anything to do with anything. But it was fine. Not what I wanted intentionally because the first time I picked up the tube of paint I excitedly stumbled on this cool texture by accident. But also, this kind of accident not totally worth welcoming but you have to sometimes make work what are "real" accidents and not just happy ones that you delight in. It's all part of the process and it's all part of "LETTING GO."
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See the final 36 pieces here in the gallery.
Thank you to the four of you who participated in my first ever "Paint Like a Kid" Demo workshop! It was so much fun to meet you all and even more fun for me to see what exciting things came out the workshop at the end. Was testing some of my exercises or "prompts," as I ended up calling them, and I think they did rather well with the results. The four girls completely surprised me with their enthusiasm for just "jumping in" and taking things in stride and loved all the feedback. Beautiful work in a really short time actually. And very, very grateful for you all taking the time out of your busy schedule to come spend an afternoon with me. Thank you!
I'm also very excited to start to plan more workshops for 2016, (weird to be writing that - can't believe it's around the corner). But so much has happened (and not happened) in 2015, been a great year for some things but definitely a more difficult year for a lot of other things that this is very exciting but FUN things to plan for in the New Year. Stay tuned for more details to come!
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It's amazing to think it's already November and the holidays are right around the corner. Literally. . .
But with this "turning the corner" here, I've committed myself to taking one more small step in my dream of making it on my own as an artist. And in this day and age, one way is to start your own online store. And I'm not sure why it has taken me this long to take the step but it at this moment, it actually feels quite courageous.
I've picked a couple of pieces of artwork that span almost a decade of work, all of these artworks are very special to me. It's definitely a weird, very weird, relationship - making art. I'm not sure if it's the same as composing music because at least you can always play the same piece or sing it, even if it's different in the moment etc. But it's yours, always. But a piece of artwork comes out and there's an "ending" to it. And then you have to detach and just let it be.
And then another weird aspect of it, is that someone wishes to buy your art and that's kind of weird too - in a wonderful way. But then you suddenly feel the attachment back, knowing you will never see this piece in person again.
But in the end, I still have a lot of pieces that represent a lot of different styles in the past several years and it's more then exciting, it's thrilling to think that some would find homes, to be admired instead of stored away in my basement studio. To think that they might bring some joy into someone's house for years to come, is quite special.
So perhaps this might be good timing to launch since it's the season of gift-giving, perhaps a loved-one would like to own an original piece of art, and I think that's pretty cool.
So without further ado, I submit my store to the world! Launching 20 artworks so far to start, all 40% till December 1st. Please share with anyone you might think would be interested. I also have lots of artwork in similar series still available so if there is something that is in my website but not in the store, please email me for available and price (all pre-2015 work is on sale 40% off) - shipping varies according to piece - katy[at]kathrynneale.com.
http://kathrynnealestudio.bigcartel.com/
You talk about courage and in the light of day it seems prosperous that I would be "nervous" to put my artwork out there. But in the middle of the night, this small step seems tentative but takes courage. Where will these pieces go and who will buy them? It's exciting to find out. Thank you again for all the support! Email me if you need more photos of any piece, etc.
If you haven't come across the work of Cy Twombly you're definitely missing out. He is by far one of my favorite artists that I found early on in my young art career, very first semester of my first masters program at Eastern Illinois University. Back then (fall of 2007 actually!) it's hard to believe that not a lot of people knew about Twombly's work except in Europe for decades. He was part of the generation of Jackson Pollock, Robert Rauchenburg and Jasper Johns but did not soar to fame here in the US because he choose to live out the rest of his life in Italy starting in 1957. You could argue that just in the past decade or so, Cy Twombly has now gained his well-deserved popularity in the US and of course is appreciated all over the world. But I would say that the mass population now is starting to recognize his work, not just among the art world elite.
You've probably seen his work because I see so much of his work exploding through all these social media channels we have available (especially Pinterest because his work is so vividly colorful and expressive), but perhaps you didn't make the connection that it was him.
I first came across his work while doing a paper on him for an art history class in my first master's at Eastern Illinois University. I instantly was fascinating by his vast vocabulary of mark making. His earlier work in the 1950's was inspired by all the grafitti found all over Rome. He is also part of the generation that used massive mural-like canvases to paint imposing themselves on the viewer almost as if we could step into his world. Later on in life, specifically in the 90's, he was fascinated by the motif of the flower symbolizing birth, life and decay. He has also been known for his extensive work in photography and sculpture but of course his paintings are what has fascinated most of his fans.
You can read a TON about his work all over the internet. He used to be much harder to find but now it's just everywhere. He was fascinated all his life by great works of literature (ancient and modern), ancient history, symbolism, myths and poetry. But as a student of a visual medium, I personally keep going back and back to his artwork because I love his compositions, his freedom in his expression, his soulful motifs that are timeless and his ability to portray his thoughts/ideas or a prose or a phrase in such a poetically abstract way. But he also focused on the process of writing. Many of his works are inspired by writing, scribbles and doodles but they don't convey any direct meaning.
To see some of his larger works in person is pretty spectacular. You can really feel his frenzied brushwork that he is known for and the richness and depth of his layering. Some of his larger works are presented in a series of canvases stretching over walls.
I think one of my favorite quotes that have really stuck with me through the years is when Twombly is interviewed, he remarks that he never really ever though of himself as an "artist":
I mean when it does come, it's natural. I don't force it, which would be in those periods when it's kind of barren. I'm not a professional painter, since I don't go to the studio and work nine to five like a lot of artists. When something hits me, or I see a painting, or when I see something in nature, it gives me a thing and I go for it. But I don't care if I don't go for three or four months. You know, when it comes it comes.
I love that. Throughout his life he rarely took any interviews and wasn't in the spotlight like some of his other contemporaries that were given so much US press. To read an interview with his is like mining for gold because he seemed to allow them more when he got older. But here I love that he matter-of-factly refutes a massive stereotype of artists - that we think of them as slaving away day in and day out to make their creations. Certainly sometimes the process is that labor-some. But personally, going through art school especially, I instantly connected with this statement. I never have been able to go into my studio from "9-5" everyday and just work consistently either. It has been encouraging to note that sometimes it doesn't work that way. Sometimes you think for months, maybe years and contemplate and then it just "comes out" in 20 minutes.
Writing this post certainly reminds me to go back to his work and look through and get inspired again.
I liked this article about Twombly's "Key Ideas" in his works
It hasn't even really registered that it's almost the end of September and therefore my blog has been empty for couple weeks! Disgraceful.
I do (in theory) tell myself I have an "excuse" in that I've completely and totally am redoing my basement/studio space. And that has taken up so much of my "extra" time - I'm still not finished but clearing out MAJOR things like a big, enormous desk in the far end of the area to make room for a much smaller desk so that I can start to video myself painting right across from my computer screen. I've been thinking and re-thinking and envisioning what the space should look like all summer. I had to move a piano by myself to the other side of the room and all my crap (LOTS and LOTS of it) had to be stored away. It's stuff like all the china, silver and dishes from both my grandmothers I was keeping are all now in neatly packed boxes in my mom's new condo. I also inherited an awesome basement storage shelving unit that now houses all most of my artwork in the unfinished area - not in my studio space anymore.
The idea is to allow for more space for my artwork, to set up a space to video me showing techniques and also to have at least half of the space possibly used for demo workshops and perhaps a lesson or two. I at least need the space set up correctly in order to even offer up any of those ideas I want to do in the near future. So dropping everything and focusing on this enormous task has taken all of my extra time - which we moms with young children don't have! (and rightly so for now). But I'm pleased with my efforts I just didn't realize an entire month has gone by without a single post!
So as I was working on my painting, I was not paying attention and sat my jar of water on top of the painting while I was looking at another area. When I looked up I realized all my watery paint had pooled around my jar. But instead of disparing and going "OH NO!" I just picked it up and started playing with the watery paint - spreading it out, blotting it with the jar and "pulling" it down into the canvas. Bascially using the jar as a brush. I loved it!
But the water had a mind of its own. It completing started pooled in a "swoosh" fashion to the right (perhaps my table is slightly off!) but even the final effect is fine with me.
One of my favorite aspects of paint is that I use so much water that more often than not, the final dried look is very different then what I see in the wet areas. And it always surprises me in a very nice way. I don't think I've ever come back and thought "On no! Why did it do that?" :)
It's a great reminder to go with the flow - literally. And to enjoy these small, fleeting moments. We are not in control - the Universe is. And to let go but still enjoy each moment for what it is, is a great meditation.
Today I finally did some yoga - feeling quite awesome.
Been staring at these for weeks, perhaps couple months now thinking if there's something more I should do with these. Finally the other night I took them down and signed them. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and say - they are done.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE magazines. I always have been, always will be I expect. It's one of the trait's left to me by my dad since he loved magazines and collected subscriptions. If (or *when!) I have the extra money to buy as many subscriptions as I want, I would love to put the following on my list:
1) MODERN PAINTING
Not particularly sexy cover this issue but this is a rather new magazine published (I believe in NYC) in the last couple years that focuses exclusively on contemporary painting. But of course it's extremely hip and cutting edge, not just focuses on painting but the context of painting within the contemporary art world as well. Which means that the articles and interviews can have a wider interpretation of "painting" across media (which is definitely the trend in the art world today). For decades, and I mean DECADES the discourse around painting is that "painting is DEAD!" especially ever since Greenberg and Pollock exploded onto the abstract stage in the 50's. But this magazine is proof that painting is not dead, it is ever-evolving, challenging and being challenged as it's own media.
So always good to be within context of the times! (And I get overwhelmed with ArtForum which is the "Bible" of contemporary art so I had stopped my subscription after a while. It's just too much extra theory and discourse for me personally!)
2) THE ELEPHANT
The Elephant is such a beautifully constructed magazine that offers up more like a "Bible" too of what's happening in the contemporary art world but also visual culture as well. It's published in London so you definitely get a broader and richer vibe from the European front. There are excellent Studio Visit articles and themes that are current within the art/culture community. Lots of writing but also lots of beautiful artwork. Again not the most flattering of covers this issue (most of Elephant covers are so bright you can't miss them!). but pretty expensive subscription as well.
3) FLOW MAGAZINE
Flow is such a unique magazine it functions more like a "project-book" then a real magazine format but it's super duper creative and craftsy. It's also a Dutch magazine so again it's cool to get different perspectives about design outside the US. The focus is exploring "small happiness, daily life and the beauty of not always managing to be perfect." The publishers have a love of paper, which is clearly evident since a lot of the pages are printed on different types of paper. Love of illustration, design and also part of the "slow-revolution," exploring themes of "creativity, positive psychology, mindfulness and beauty of imperfection." It's definitely a magazine that is more like a book, requiring you to slow down, look carefully through all the pages and contemplate the design and words. This issue especially I actually might buy because it's sole focus in on mindfulness (which is EVERYWHERE these days isn't it?!).
4) SELVEDGE
I absolutely adore this magazine and for a while did continuously buy copies of it and still have all of them in my archival library. It is an extremely sophisticated, beautifully designed magazines that focuses on the textile industry and all thigns related to textiles in the industry. There are cool articles on historical details of lace for example, latest textile designers, fashion and even focus on fiber/textile artist in the art world. It basically has nothing to do with my work EXCEPT I can justify that some of it has pattern which I'm interested in of course. So that is why I justified purchasing copies but in general, I appreciate the look, feel, design and photographs of this gorgeous magazine. I wish I had the money!
5) COUNTRY HOMES & COUNTRY HOMES INTERIORS
Since my aesthetic has consistently been drawn to the whatever country style the UK is publishing, I absolutely adore these 2 magazines. I enjoy them for their interior highlights but also because the articles are everything to do with English country life. I am obsessed with England and wish that some day I could buy a small cottage in the middle of Derbyshire or by the sea in like Cornwall (see Poldark recently?!!). I get these magazines to get inspired but also to dream.
6) THE SIMPLE THINGS
Brand new magazine (as of last year or the year before) but absolutely stunning design layout and photography. Same thing as #5 in that totally inspired by British country life. All of the articles are also about the slow revolution - slowing down with reading, with being inspired by nature, by food, by traveling, etc. Not much in the design arena but still would love to catch one of these issues just because and read before a fire with hot tea.
7) KINFOLK
Beautifully printed, this magazine has been out for some time, again another one devoted to the "slow life." Design-wise it's the most sleek, elegant, sophisticated design that evokes to me, more of a book than a magazine layout. I would def want this magazine if I had the money. The articles are also very thoughtful with themes for each magazine.
It's interesting I've taken a break so to speak from painting after the 100 Day Project and also because just spent a lovely and super fun week in Boston with my sister-in-law's family. Coming back to reality is always fun.
It's also quite interesting to kind of figure out what I would like to blog about. I have a lot of interests even within the arena of "art" and it's been challenging to figure out what to write and what is most interesting for me to keep writing about! It's ironic that in a lot of professions nowadays, if you want to have an online presence, you must have a blog. Well . . . . blog means CONTENT which equals WRITING! It's ironic that the most successful way to reach people is something that you do not do very naturally. I'm a painter. And that's why it was really fun and easy to post what I was doing . . . PAINTING - which is natural to me. What I feel and thinking about and experimenting with, I can just show you through the 100 Day Project for example. So content was fun and relatively easy in that respect.
But I am not a writer. I like pontificating and writing as a way of journaling (very stream of consciousness as my husband calls it). I am not a very good editor of my thoughts. So why the heck would I want to WRITE A BLOG? That has been coming to me lately.
And "what kind of an artist am I" as been in my foremost thoughts now since my future business endeavors fell apart this past February. What I "thought" and "dreamed" and "hoped" was going to happen ended very abruptly. So what now?
I realize that the past decade I've been trying to answer this fundamental questions of "what kind of artist to I want to be?" to "Who am I as an artist NOW?"
I have toiled with tips and tricks but at this moment I'm wondering is that who I am really? I am not really fond of tips and tricks in magazines for example. I know they are very good, quick and engaging ideas or examples or specific projects, etc. But I don't do them. I may fold the corner of my magazine page and want to do them or try out that recipe or actually do that yoga sequence "some day" but I never do.
What really engages me and sticks with me are deeper issues. Why is art such a difficult and challenging subject for most people? In a lot of ways it can be argued that it is similar to the definition of love - so many different meanings, expectations, stereotypes and means different ideas in different contexts that it's almost impossible to define.
And I'm STILL struggling with MY definition of art and how I'm defining myself as an artist.
When I first decided to be an artist (and I really honestly mean that I did wake up one morning and decide, I'm going to plunge into this art thing), it was a harrowing adventure just to "come out" as an artist. Looking back as a child I realize now that I was always creative. I loved "playing" which meant making up my own imaginative worlds, mostly inspired by the dramatic movies I would watch and then try to act out (musicals were definitely a favorite!). But my entire young and growing into more of an "adult" life, I repeatedly thought "I'm not an artist!" and as I grew older into my high school years I would bombard myself with "well I'm not that kind of artist," - I can't draw like that, I can't paint like that, I'm not good enough! So I'm not an artist. I consider my creative or having a creative drive, but I'm not ambitious. Mostly I can't paint like that! So much so that by college I was a mess of "I can'ts" that drove me practically into hysteria by beginning of my senior year. Then I had my little epiphany on my art abroad but it still didn't take root until 4 years later.
After I had graduated from my first graduate masters program, I rejoined my husband who had moved to Washington DC for an exciting job opportunity. I had been separate from him, living in the rural fields of east Illinois, having this bewildering and eye-opening experience of "becoming a painter!"
I remember going to a barbeque of friend of a friend's and being overwhelmed by this new label I had earned - "an artist." I feel that most people in DC are obsessed with the government (why not? Practically every single person works or is related to someone who works there and either feels the need to be up on politics or it is really truly their passion), does social work, or is a lawyer. All conversations are very serious. And #1 topic of conversation is what you are "doing" currently with your life. So I specifically remember an instance when one girl walks up to me (because I was clearly doing the introvert thing of just staying a bit always quietly eating my cookie and looking awkward as hell), and brightly asking what I do? This was my very first initiation into the real world so to speak, with my new label. I conjured up my courage and exclaimed "I'm an artist." And with that there was a blink, a pause, and a disappointed "oh" from the girl. And then she just turned and walked away. I was a little stunned. Do I have green skin? Am I hideous or something? Do I speak a foreign language? All must have been true to this girl who obviously thought that either she had no idea what else to ask me or that I had nothing of interest to offer up to her. This incident has stayed with me as it clearly illustrates all of these stereotypes we, as a society and culture, have of artists.
Today, after another 4 years of after graduating from a prestigious art program for my MFA, I have finally overcome a lot of the academic aftermath of going through a program where it is also cultivated on what kind of artist you "should" be. I finally feel I've let a lot of that go and embraced more possibilities. And feel like I'm in a good place now because of this space and time away from such an intense period in my life.
Tonight I flipped through one of my journals and found a Manifesto written back at the end of April in response to a B-School assignment. I thought it is very apropos at this moment when I'm trying to put into words what I want this blog essentially to be about. My original purpose!
MANIFESTO (April 28, 2015)
* My purpose is to inspire women to be more creative in their lives, in a more soulful, deeper and richer way. Ultimately using painting and the art creative process as a spiritual practice or journey.
* We, women, are physically and biologically built to be creative, our fundamental purpose is to give life. But in today’s world, this purpose has been broadened and enriched to symbolize so many different forms, a source for living life to the fullest. Everyone is creative. Everyone is creative.
* Seems like there’s so much out there right now that is a “hobby,” or “DIY,” or “1-2-3 craft.” We think being creative is to go from project to project to project. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s fun, easy and less time consuming. And it’s also in the moment and for a purpose. But I feel I can contribute and show that the creative process can be a more enriching tool for a deeper, more soulful self-discovery. It is empowering to think there is a need for deeper, more meaningful messages or communications through art.
It's refreshing to see that my intentions are still pure in this respect. Now I have to figure out HOW I can do this. But for a start, this is definitely the kind of artist I want to be. Definitely the kind of art I want to make and definitely the kind of art process I would love to share.
Taking a moment to breathe right now. Reflecting this summer already almost over since August is literally just days away, I feel like summer hasn't been that great at all. Hardly any time for swimming, laying out in sun or being lazy. Soaking up the deliciousness that summer brings with hot weather, sandals and sweat. Playing golf with my golf-fanatic husband. Nope! Not this year.
I could blame it on a lot of major things that are shifting in my life. May brought on some minor depression and frustrations with how things weren't going in my career life left over from February/March where my business plans with a friend blew up in my face and redirecting that ship after more than 2 years has been a challenge to say the least! June brought great trip to Colorado to visit my sister but hard to travel with a 1.5 year old (by MYSELF I might add!). I was exhausted and he was exhausted and sick afterwards. A week later my father-in-law married a 36-year old woman with 4 kids under 10 which has directly impacted my husband's and mine's lives because we all live here in St. Louis and aren't supportive of this decision! So it's been quite stressful as our relationship with him has dramatically declined. Following this event, only 4 days later, we had a health scare with my sister-in-law (she came out fine but had to go through surgery). And finally June 26th brought the death of my dear dad. All in 3.5 weeks. It's funny how time and life are share such a close-knit relationship. You go weeks, months, years, and then bam, bam, bam in matter of days, life pulls a 180.
July has just been uber fast. I feel a little bit more centered and through it all I realized that having my 100 Day Project was quite therapeutic during this roller coaster spring and summer time. It put art as a priority (even if it only was 30 minutes a day), and now it is crystal clear that I should be working on pursuing my career as an artist (I already feel like I have been) but FULL TIME is the point.
In the beginning of June in Colorado I went to see a physic, had my first tarot card reading. Weather you believe in that sort of thing or not, for me personally, I believe whole-heartedly there is a universal law of Love that is guiding, protecting, caring, encouraging and gently suggesting to each and every one of us what our divine purpose here on earth really is - what major lessons are each of us here to learn. Each one of us has different lessons to learn and I believe guidance came come in any kind of channel to help support our growth.
I was a bit nervous about the tarot reading but the instant we started, the guide almost yelled out "WHOA! You are definitely freaked out right now!!" Suddenly for the first time in months, I felt a huge lift from my mental shoulders because as the reading continued it was very clear that there are going to be a lot of shit happening in my life in the future. And in the past I've had to get balanced and centered BUT I had time for that. For past couple years I've not had any time and in past couple months, things have accelerated where I literally felt like I'm spiraling out of control in a vertigo. In only the first 10 minutes, I felt validated. I wasn't going crazy! She could literally read my energy and she described exactly what I had been feeling for months - a deer in headlights, frustrated, scared, exhausted, feeling like I should figure everything out now. The balance has not been there for a long LONG time.
The psychic confirmed that it will not be that way for a while - perhaps a year or two. There are MAJOR changes still to come in our lives. But she told me I had to find a way to be OK with this - to be OK with feeling flipped out and know that there are moments of peace and centered-ness, finding some other way to stay balanced. Oh. Ok. I thought, interesting.
Looking back just as the weeks went by after my reading so much already happened right in a row, but the vision that has completely settled inside me for weeks now is razor sharp, crystal clear. And it all has to do with that finality of accepting my role as an artist. Believe or not, even though almost a decade of schooling and being a professional artist, I have struggle with what kind of artist am I? I want to be a graphic designer? a web designer? a web consultant? a Marketing consultant? a small business partner owner of a website for creatives? a teacher? a wife? just a mother? All these labels we put on ourselves through our 20's and 30's - it's crazy! But finally, FINALLY, my heart is singing. What kind of artist do I want to be has been the major question of the past 5 years going through graduate school, etc. I did the high-end gallery route and that just didn't suit me - maybe it will eventually cause who knows what will happen. But right now, where I'm at it's not what I want at the moment.
But through it all right now, I can firmly say, I'm fine. I'm totally fine! And accepting this role as been a huge shift in my mental and emotional well being. It's inevitable. That word keeps coming to me. It may not happen now (like as a full-time artist to support my family), but it will happen, because it has to happen. There really isn't anything else I want to do, there isn't anything else I'm supposed to do. This is my "calling" and I feel that now more than ever. And in fact just doing 30 minutes a day of artwork has made me (gasp!) happy! So why struggle and try to be something else.
I just finished a challenge online called the “100 Day Project” sponsored by The Great Discontent and inspired by professional artist, Elle Luna who had tested out this project on herself couple years ago. She had heard of the project that was originally conceived by Michael Beirut, who for years led his graphic design students at Yale University in a workshop he called “The 100 Day Project.” Each student had to chose one action to repeat every day for 100 days (which ended up being a semester). In 2014, Elle Luna and her friends banded together to start the project online through Instagram and since then it has had incredible feedback!
The dates for 2015 started this past April 6th and just ended July 14th.
From the start, I decided that I had to make my intention extremely simple otherwise it wouldn’t happen and I wouldn’t be consistent through the 3+ months to finish the exercise within the demands of my busy life/work schedule. I have taken a hiatus from painting for the past 2 years to have my son and wanted something that was structured but with almost no pressure, and this was the perfect project to get back into the practice of painting.
My intention was direct and simple: to paint 100 paintings (1 per day), each one under 20 minutes. I set my timer on my phone and would paint and then literally finish when the beeping went off.
As I reflect on the past couple months, the simplest strategy of painting within a 20-minute period, brought up all it’s own set of limitation and restrictions to work through. I had to work extremely fast, relying on instinctual decision-making process and not brood over past decisions or plan almost anything. I didn’t have time to even slow down to draw or cut paper! It was liberating in that I had to literally turn off my “left-brain” because I had no time to ponder over whether those were good decisions or not. My entire purpose for each painting became “Is this working?”
The process was absolutely in line with my natural process of creating a regular painting. I do not have an end-goal or know ahead of time what the painting will look like. I certainly have some ideas or methods or materials which I would like to experiment with. But overall, the process is reacting to what is coming out on the canvas or surface. I work in many different styles and tend to work in “series,” completing several paintings at once tend to lend to similar ideas working out within that series and then moving on to a whole new idea. I switch back and forth between media.
Sometimes I prefer collage-work to loosen up the brain, and other times working with other dryer mediums since my painting process tends to be very “wet.” The reaction between the dry and wet mediums in this 100 day project was quite refreshing. It created a new tactile spontaneity that is part of the essence of my work.
I knew that the 100 Day Project series would allow me to just practice, practice, practice and get back into the rhythm of painting again. What I didn’t realize was the direct correlation between sitting down to practice with paint is almost exactly like a musician picking up her guitar to play and sing in an improv session. I barely had enough time to grab my water and brushes, rush downstairs into my basement, start and then finish. I could not take my time to cut out shapes or paint small detail. There’s virtually no time for technique. But it was just so freeing to be able to pick up the brush, like a musician that starts playing or singing, and for 20 minutes get lost in the action of painting and then it was over.
In order to make some sense of the layers, I had to quickly dry with a dryer which sometimes took more time then the actually painting process. But again my work tends to be heavily wet (watercolor influence). But this also created an interesting dynamic in that I would make decisions whether to leave areas or dab areas dry simply because I didn’t have enough time to let it dry on its own. I would also make more decisions to play “within” the water, having it act more as an agent facilitating it’s own reactions to the dryer mediums like pencil and pastel that I was working with. That experimentation creating a new look and feel that was exciting to watch.
The push against the time took some getting used to, at the beginning I had to keep looking at how much time I had left to make quicker decisions to pull the piece together at the end. A few times, I went over couple minutes because to leave the painting as it was would’ve been horrendous. But as the weeks went by I eventually didn’t even use the timer since I had a natural feel of the overall timing and would almost always finish well under the 20 minute time limit.
Looking back over my series I can see that I experimented with many different styles and with different mediums, which is parallel to my larger work. When I got a little bored, I would transition to collages were great to mix it up, reacting to predetermined elements, shapes, and even played with scotch tape and wasabi tape for fun. But painting on pre-patterned paper is interesting because you are deconstructing (taking out) what you don’t want instead of adding in what you do want. And also going back and forth from paper, canvas, linen and color paper.
From the start I had found a new painting medium, chalk paint that is found in higher-end decorative art stores by Annie Sloan. She invented this nontoxic paint to redo any type of surface, furniture, walls, ceilings, floors, metal, wood, plastic, etc. The paint is wonderfully versatile to work with, chalky, thicker and easily thinned down. And I love the muted, pastel color palette (which is also consistent with the way I work which I have little patience for mixing colors).
In the middle of the project I went to visit my sister in Colorado and knew that those would also naturally have restrictions that travel demands. I decided to take only watercolors and some pencils because watercolors are extremely easy to work with, clean up and have no fear of making a huge mess. They are also very small and light to travel with! Grabbed 12 sheets of watercolor paper (pad) and off I went. What was fun with that series was visiting her in Salida, the town is nestled right up in the mountains with the Colorado River running through it. As I sat down to paint I was drawn to the landscape vista feeling as well as the rocks and running water. Even though I wanted to maintain an abstract look to the work, I was inspired intuitively by those references. Watercolor also brings its own color palette and also drys much faster so lends itself to lot more layers. But I also got way behind (understandably) because it was just not possible or practical to paint everyday. So I ended up also doing 2-4 at a time which was also fun because each one came out different but they all still have that overall references to to the landscape.
As I finish on this last day I have to admit it wasn’t that hard. If you set a task for yourself that you love and is something more than a hobby, you will do it. And you will do it if and only if it’s totally simple, straight-forward and not too taxing. I am convinced even if I switched it to 30 minutes or 45 or even painting for 1 hour I would never have completed this project. My schedule with a full-time job and caring for a 1.5 year old simply doesn’t allow it like it could’ve couple years ago. And you do have to know and understand yourself. I work fast anyway. This was a new objective to complete a painting within 20 minutes but as I work on several paintings at once and leave them for a while and then come back, each layer process and decision is about 20 minutes anywhere when I actually paint. Sometimes it’s a bit slower but most of the time I like to paint fast and then let things dry to see what happens cause things look different when they’ve dried.
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So to RECAP what I’ve learned:
• You have to set yourself an objective that is almost too simple that you balk immediately thinking “that’s it?” Remember the secret is that you have to REPEAT this action for 100 day straight. if it’s too complicated and/or ambitious you will not do it!
• Within that simplicity, complications and restrictions come up naturally. Like for example, my materials limited, my size of the work limited, my mediums limited (it would’ve been a challenge to work in oil for example), etc.
• You will get bored so deal with it! In about Week 30 I started to get really bored with patterned background stuff and I have a lot of that kind of paper lying around. So I did go out an buy cheap square canvas boards to use instead. Just switching to hard canvas and then also switching to square verses portrait or landscape just kept my interest enough to get me to the next series.
• You find simple solutions to your limitations and that naturally creates a “shift” in the look or how you paint for that series. Like for instance I started to experiment with dry mediums like pastel and colored pencils because they are quick and easy. And then to mix water into pastel created cool and interesting textures.
• The more you paint, the more you try, you will find that some days are just easy and other days are like “have I ever done this before?” Again it’s just the way it is.
• You have to learn to TRUST THE PROCESS. It is so simple but so profound. If I had done this when I was much younger, perhaps it would’ve been much more painful but also really would’ve challenged me to just keep trying and trying different things without any fear that it might be graded or if it looked good. For some reason when we are young we are so fearful of what other think, self-conscious and wanting it to be perfect. Growing up means you realize either through struggle or joy that the process is gold, not the product. The journey is what is worth it, not the end goal.
• Like I mentioned before, my entire goal for each sketch became “is this working?” or “is this not working?” it’s always “can this be better” not . . . “is this pretty or dumb or ugly?” Doesn’t matter one bit about that!
• And it’s directly a kin to a musician practicing their piano every day or singing with their guitar. No one knows, no one even cares! And no one knows the process you’ve gone or going through to get from one sketch to the next (one day to the next). Unlike a musician, their improvising and practicing is not “recorded” where a painter’s is visually. But that’s the other real difference I see. Like a musician, if you mess up, you do it again, paint over it or start a new. It certainly takes the stress out of making a good painting. If you don’t like them throw them away.
• This entire process is also to gain confidence in your painting vocabulary. Just like a musician must learn the basic notes, scales and keys to play songs, the more they practice the more they can improvise and work within that system. A painter is no different. And out of this 100 Day Project, it’s long enough to start to see your own style naturally emerge.
What a brilliant project to participate in! who know if “something” will come out of it - that doesn’t matter one bit. I am proud of myself for finishing the damn thing! So much has happened since I started in my personal life (which I will write about later) that in only 3 months, whoa, think how much you can get accomplished with only 20 minutes a day. It has been extremely encouraging. And I do not naturally like doing small things to “chip” away at a project, I much prefer gathering my resources and plunging in for few weeks to work through it and then complete it. But this exercise is much more parallel to real life. And it has re-taught me to respect this process and cherish it. You learn it when you are younger going through school but I have been so frustrated last few months/last 2 years not being able to do what I want to do creatively “full-time” that that kind of mentality has completely overwhelmed me to not do anything. That motivation will never get you where you want to go. This small exercise has made a deeper impact on myself, maybe even a more profound one, although I will not recognize I think for a while. I am so grateful! And I would love to repeat it again one of these days.
Follow me on Instagram @KathrynJNeale, #100Days20minptgs, #100DayProject
Click here for official webpage.
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Can't believe already finished with this one! And I could go longer but that's ok. What an experience. Pretty cool. I will write about my reflections in a later post this week. But halleluiah! Feels great to actually complete this project. Thanks The Great Discontent and Elle Luna for organizing this online!
Follow me on Instagram @KathrynJNeale, #100Days20minptgs, #100DayProject
Click here for official webpage.
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Almost there!
Follow me on Instagram @KathrynJNeale, #100Days20minptgs, #100DayProject
Click here for official webpage.
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Another fun example feeling like using my fingers for this painting sketch. Hardly any brush was used and so it was fun plus it's very easy to use fingers with chalk paint. And also another example of working on it one way (upside down) and then in the final moment flipping the whole painting around to see it in a different rotation.